Floor 12
by XxStarryxxSkyxX
Summary: Light wants to mix things up on his date with Misa, so he takes her to a very special floor of the investigation skyscraper... Along with L, of course. Slightly cracky.
1. Of Leotards and Longing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

xoxoxo

One fine day, Light and Misa were on a date. This meant, of course, that L was on a date as well, as he was handcuffed to Light and therefore was forced to accompany him. On this fine day, Light had decided to switch things up a bit, and instead of going on the date on Misa's floor of the skyscraper, he decided to take her to floor 12. Because everyone knew, of course, that floor 12 was one of the nicest floors. Duh.

In any case… One of the reasons floor 12 was so special was because it was the entertainment floor. No one knew exactly _why _L had an entertainment floor put into a building meant to aid in the capture of a dangerous criminal, as 98 percent of their waking time was devoted to working on the Kira case, but regardless, floor 12 was there, floor 12 was for fun, that was that. Anyway, the last person to question L's motives found himself on a ship to Guatemala, so everyone kept quiet about it.

Now, when I say 'entertainment,' I mean the floor not only contains a movie theater, but also a bowling alley, a pizzeria, a skating rink, an _ice_ skating rink, a bakery (of course), a tennis court, an arcade, and a McDonalds, because there's at least 5 McDonalds (McDonaldses?) in every district of every city of every state of every country in the world. This thrilled Misa, as she could do date-like things with Light at last, because L couldn't show his face in public and that meant Light had to stay inside as well.

"Oh, oh, where should we go first, Light?" Misa said excitedly, latched onto Light's arm and looking around at the doors in the main hallway of floor 12, each clearly labeled with one of its attractions. "Should we see a movie? I wonder if Ryuuzaki gets any good ones in here… But I'm a bit hungry… Fast food will make me fat, and pizza is greasy. Don't you have any good food places here? Or we could go ice skating, doesn't that sound romantic?"

Light merely allowed himself to be dragged along (meaning he allowed L to be dragged along as well) as Misa raced through the hallway, pausing at every door to either praise or criticize what was on the other side of it. He wasn't really enthusiastic about the date, but the prospect of enjoying some outside pleasures while chained to L was appealing to him.

As they approached the door to the bakery (which Light noted had a large, over-decorated plaque compared to all of the other doors), L cast a longing glance in its direction, moving towards it by instinct. Light had kept going due to Misa tugging him along, but when the handcuffs were pulled taut, he was forced to stumble backwards, pulling Misa off balance and into him, sending them both tumbling to the ground, L falling along with them.

"…That hurt," L noted quietly, voice slightly muffled from his place under Light and Misa. Logic and reason would tell you that he would've fallen on top of them, but logic and reason are nonexistent on floor 12. Why do you think no one ever investigates while there? Certainly not because of the fun floor 12 brings. Not at all.

Misa grumbled and pushed herself upwards, blushing lightly at her place on top of Light. The sight of Light sprawled out on the floor, eyes screwed shut and both clothes and hair a mess, had L's limbs not been sticking out from under him at odd angles, would have looked quite romantic. Light's eyes snapped open and he lightly pushed Misa off of him, disliking the feeling of L's bones pressing into his back.

"Ah, thank you," L said, sitting up once Light had gotten off of him.

"What was that for, Ryuuzaki?" Misa said angrily, standing up.

"My apologies, I'm rather hungry," L said, standing up with Light.

"Is cake all you ever think about?" Misa asked, glaring.

"Why, not at all," L responded. "I also think about strawberries, éclairs, pie, sugar, and cherries, just to name a few."

Misa huffed in annoyance, and Light stepped in between the two, holding his arms up.

"Okay, okay, there's no need for fighting," he said, "Let's just continue on, okay?"

"But… I want some cake…" L said in protest, holding a hand up to his stomach to indicate that he was hungry.

"I told you, cake makes you fat!" Misa said.

"Must I explain the 'Using-Your-Head Theory' again?"

"There you go again, insulting me!"

"It wasn't an insult. I was merely stating…"

"Oh, please! We all know you think I'm stupid!"

"No… I-"

"Would you two cut it out?" Light said in annoyance.

"My apologies, Light-kun. Now, about that cake…" L started.

Two glares were all he got in response.

"Oh, all right… But we'll stop here before we leave, all right?" L said dejectedly.

"That's fine, now let's just go," Light said.

They continued along the hallway, as Misa continued to point things out that the two either already knew or didn't care about.

"You two play tennis, right? Maybe you can show me some time. Hmm, I wonder what kind of games are in the arcade… I suppose pizza will be okay if I only eat a bit. Hmm, do you have popcorn at the theater? Maybe I'll just have some of that, though it's not much better…"

"Misa!" Light called, eye twitching.

"Yes, Light?" she said happily, smiling up at him.

"Please… just… decide on somewhere…" Light said in a strained voice.

"All right, fine… Ice skating, then!" she declared happily.

This struck both L and Light in the wrong way. L couldn't skate! Also, he had a bad experience with ice back when he was younger. He shuddered as he thought back on Wammy's house, ice, and poles he suspected would taste sweet. Of course, this would raise questions as to why he would put in an attraction that so obviously caused him pain to think about, but again, the theory of floor 12 + logic and reasoning equals EPIC IMPLOSION comes into play here. Oh, did I mention that if logic and reason invade floor 12 by some supernatural means, said EPIC IMPLOSION will occur? Yeah. It will.

As for Light… While he was good at most sports, he too had a bad childhood experience with ice, ice skating in particular. I think it's a rather nice time for a flashback to occur, don't you? If you don't, you probably watch too much Naruto abridged. Regardless, Light froze, and in his inner mind theater, a bad memory started to play.

_**Laighto's Inner Mind Theater Presents…**_

_Bad Childhood Memory #3_

_It was a nice, cold day, perfect for ice skating. As such, Light (age 12) had decided to go to the ice rink and further his scope of athletic abilities. Upon trying it, he found he was rather good, and he enjoyed skating so much that he went back the next day. And the next. And the next. And the… Well, you get it._

_By this time, he had studied figure skaters thoroughly, and he wanted to be just like who was then his idol: Michelle Kwan. After much begging (and enduring questionable looks), he managed to have his mother make him an outfit exactly like the ones Michelle wore. Sparkly, skin-tight, aerodynamic… Perfect!_

_He happily strode onto the ice in his brand new outfit. He skated away, but soon he became aware people were staring at him. More so than usual, of course, because which hopeful schoolgirl wouldn't stare at the 'love of her life' as he skated gracefully, skin illuminated by the white of the ice, looking more angelic than ever? A blind girl. That was who. Though he didn't know any._

_He stared out at the crowd of people who weren't skating, along with the people who were skating and passed him. Why were they giggling..? Suddenly, he heard a voice from the crowd. A male voice._

"_Nice outfit, Yagami-_chan!_" the voice taunted, causing more people to start laughing louder._

_What idiots. Didn't they appreciate an ice god when they saw one? Obviously not, as the taunts and the laughing only got louder._

"_Where'd you get that, Girls 'r' Us?"_

"_Does your mom dress you?"_

"_You look just like a swan!"_

_Though he did hear a _splooch _that almost sounded like a nosebleed…_

_Somewhere in the midst of all the laughing, that was._

_Light skated off of the ice, mortified, and never showed his face there again._

_It was then that he realized he wanted to be a cop when he grew up. Then he would toss all the kids that laughed at him in prison. Ingenious, no? He certainly thought so._

_**FIN**_

"Mommy! Make them stop! Wahhhh!" the present-time Light said, yanking his hands up to his eyes and rubbing away his anime tears.

"Um… Light? Are you okay?" Misa asked, a bit creeped out.

"What? Oh, uh… Yeah," Light said, sniffling and hiding his shame. "On second thought, Misa… Can I pick?"

"Sure…" Misa said, not wanting Light to have another episode.

L let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Safe. For now, at least. He tugged lightly on the handcuffs, urging Light to move. Though it was also a subtle gesture towards the bakery…

"Ryuuzaki, stop that. You'll get cake afterwards. Look, can we just… see a movie?" Light said, tugging the handcuffs in the opposite direction.

L still looked rather dejected, but he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked in the direction of the theater. So close… He had been so close…

"That sounds fine to me," Misa said, walking alongside L and Light. "What do you have playing here, anyway? Stuff in theaters, or..?"

"All right little strawberry… Lay right next to big Mr. Cake. He'll take care of you…" L said softly, before Misa's comment snapped him back to reality. "Oh, right! Uh… You can just look when we get there, all right?"

_**Several rather uneventful seconds later…**_

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… It figures," Light said, rolling his eyes at the first movie listed on the board of available ones.

L whimpered in response.

"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory…" An anime sweatdrop.

"You have to have the classic as well," L said with a shrug.

"Whatever. Little Orphan Annie?"

"It brings back memories…" L mused.

"I don't wanna know. Nanny McPhee?"

"She reminds me slightly of myself. I often find myself dealing with bratty kids. I don't mean you, Misa, stop glaring."

"Nancy Drew. Don't tell me. She reminds you of yourself, right?"

"Don't be silly, Light-kun, I'd never wear such an ugly skirt," L said, causing Light to cringe at the mental image of L wearing a skirt. Hey, he hadn't denied he'd wear a skirt he found attractive, had he? Shaking the thoughts from his head, Light continued on.

"It figures you'd have so many Sherlock Holmes movies."

"And why is that?" L asked, looking truly curious.

"You're… You're serious?"

"…"

"…Nevermind. The last one here is… Oh, for the love of god, Ryuuzaki, do you ever think of anything besides cake, children, and cases?"

"I don't see what the big deal is. It's a great movie," L said.

"I didn't know you liked that kind of movie…" Misa said with an eyebrow raised, staring at the last film listed.

American Pie.

_**TBC…**_

Well, hoped you liked the first chapter of my cracktacular mini-series! This started out as just a freewriting exercise, and it grew into something I'd like to continue. At least until the date is over. But, in any case, I finished this chapter a bit early because of my brain's death, it was meant to be an even more cracktacular oneshot. Hope you like it, though!


	2. An Ode to Mr King

Ah, I just can't wait to please you people

Ah, I just can't wait to please you people. So, shortly after the first chapter, I bring you the second chapter of the epic story I call Floor 12! I still have no clue where I'm going with this…

Thank you people for your reviews! I probably _will_ make a MelloxMatt story sometime, as I heart that pairing as well. Look forward to it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothiiiing!

xoxoxo

Even though L's choices in available movies were… questionable, Light and Misa decided to watch one anyway. Their thought process went as follows, though because there is no logic and reasoning on floor 12, the way they came to their conclusion is rather out of character and odd.

The chocolate factory movies were out, because neither Light nor Misa wanted drool on their shoulders, hands, or other body parts, because L drool would most likely burn their skin off due to all the concentrated sugar. Had they been thinking reasonably, they would've scrapped them anyway, just so they wouldn't have to deal with L's whining (if you could call it that) throughout the course of the film.

Little Orphan Annie was out because they didn't want to flood themselves with tears. I mean, come on! She's a cute little orphan! That's… That's sob-story material right there! CUTE, TINY FEMALE ORPHANS! It's SAD! At least, on floor 12 it is…

Nanny McPhee and Nancy Drew seemed a bit too juvenile for them. They were 18 and older! What would happen if they got caught watching kids' movies? Bad things, that's what. They couldn't think of anything specific, but bad things regardless.

They all wanted to get their minds off of the Kira case, so Sherlock Holmes was out of the question. But because they were on floor 12, the movies wouldn't remind them of the case because Holmes was a detective much like themselves, oh no. It'd remind them of the case because L had said the word 'elementary' on one occasion during the case. Clearly a reason why not to watch the movies.

So they were left with American Pie. Sure, it was a movie with pie in both the title and the actual film, but they figured it wouldn't hit home with L too much. Plus, it was the only one left. But that's not logical at all. Not. At. All.

The movie was quite enjoyable, barring the one particular scene the movie is famous for. During which, Misa blushed and looked away, Light rubbed the bridge of his nose and averted his eyes, and L… L tilted his head to the side and nibbled on his thumb, almost as if considering it.

NO!

Light damned L mentally for making him think such horrible, scarring things twice in one day.

"Bad thoughts!" Light yelled at the exact moment he pictured L in the boy on the screen's place.

In response, he got questioning stares. Giggling awkwardly to hide his embarrassment, Light shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth and slunk down in his seat.

"Huh… I don't see what the problem is…" L said, shrugging, as he turned back to the movie.

_**After the movie…**_

"Ah, Light, that was fun," Misa said as the trio emerged from the theater, stretching her arms before returning to clinging to Light.

"Yeah… Fun…" Light said, still trying to force the horrible thoughts out of his mind.

"So, where to next?" L said boredly, with an underlying hint in his voice saying, _"For the love of god, the bakery, PLEASE!"_

"Hmm… It's my turn to pick, Light!" Misa said, leading the boys down the hallway.

"Right…" Light said, finally regaining most of his composure.

"Ooh! What's this place? I didn't see it here before…" Misa said, reaching towards a door with a plaque reading '1408.'

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Light and Misa spun around to face L, shocked to find he was the source of the loud protest. Why they were shocked when the voice so clearly belonged to him and they both knew they weren't the ones that did it is merely the product of being on floor 12.

"Don't go in there!" L said, flailing his arms.

"Uh… Why?" Misa said, eyebrow raised.

L paused and looked from Light to Misa to Light to Misa to Light and back to Misa, then shot a glance at a duck-shaped clock hanging on the wall for some reason, then looked back to Light and finally to Misa again. He lowered his arms hastily and coughed lightly into his fist, calming down.

"That's not a very appealing room," he said simply.

"Why, what's in it?" Misa asked, turning her eyes back to the door.

L paused and seemed to shudder, eyes going blank for a minute as if remembering something horrible (kinda like Light's childhood incident with ice skating). After a moment or two, he was back to regular old wide-eyed L, looking bored and uninterested as always.

"…Nothing that would interest you," he said, turning away as if he wanted to run as fast as he could down the hall in the opposite direction.

"I have a question, Ryuuzaki," Light said, dismissing L's weirdness as normal. "If this is floor 12… Why does the room number of that door start with 14?"

"Never you mind that, let's get going!" Ryuuzaki declared, turning back to Light and Misa and gesturing down the hallway. "That movie had me working up quite an appetite…"

"BAD THOUGHTS ARE BACK!" Light said, clutching his head and proceeding to bang said body part against the wall, knocking the duck clock off of it. Never you mind that the clock was on the other side of the hallway. Who needs logic and reasoning anyway when you've got objects shaped like things?

Casting a sideways glance back at the door she so longed to enter, Misa tugged on Light's arm, pulling him towards L.

"Okay, honey, deep breaths… In, out, in, out…" she said soothingly, running her hand over his back as if he were a distressed child – which he kinda was at the moment.

"Waah, the pie…" Light sniffled, rubbing his now sore head.

"Yes, indeed, the pie. Now, if we can just…"

"It's my turn to pick where we go, Ryuuzaki, and we're NOT going to that fatty, calorie-filled hell you call a bakery!" Misa said sternly, glaring at L.

L looked downwards sadly, fantasizing about his precious sweets. He was so absorbed in his fantasies that he didn't feel the handcuffs pulling his wrist as Misa and Light got further away from him, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground, being dragged along behind the couple.

"…I don't remember installing a moving ceiling…" he mused quietly, before shrugging and resuming his thoughts of buff Mr. Pie and big Mr. Cake fighting over the petit but beautiful little Miss Strawberry.

"It feels harder to move," Light said randomly, interrupting Misa's idle chatter.

This was right before his foot snagged on nothing in particular and he face planted onto the crimson carpeting.

"Uwah!" Misa yelped, landing on top of him and earning a grunt.

"…Oh, look at that. The ceiling stopped," L said.

"Misa…" came Light's muffled voice. "I say this with all due respect… _Get off of me._"

"Oops! Sorry, Light!" Misa said, rolling off of him. It was quite uncomfortable for Light.

"I think Mr. Cake's devotion will win Miss Strawberry over… But in a fight to the death, Mr. Pie would probably reign victorious…" L said to no one in particular.

"Shut up already!" both Misa and Light said angrily, sitting up.

"Huh? Oh, hello, you two. Would either of you mind telling me when we all ended up on the ground?" he asked idly, still not rising from the floor, but rather pulling his legs up into his usual crouching position and biting his thumb as if he were in a chair.

"Would you mind telling me how the hell you became the world's greatest detective?" Light asked, eye twitching.

"Greatest three detectives," L corrected, continuing to gnaw on the tip of his thumb.

"What- I- I mean- That- _Get off the floor!_" Light stuttered before exclaiming, jumping to his feet and tugging the handcuffs rather roughly.

L's arm raised and his body was jerked violently, though he kept his other thumb in his mouth and looked impassive. The force of the pull had caused his legs to unfold, but he quickly regained his posture once he was sitting up.

"No need to be rough…" L said, getting to his feet and shoving his non-handcuffed hand into his pocket.

Light closed his eyes and his eyebrow twitched. Through gritted teeth, he said, "Misa, please pick somewhere."

"Now, now. It was only a fall. You'll survive, so there's no need to get so angry," L said.

"Now it's my turn to break you guys up!" Misa said, scrambling to her feet and glaring at the boys. "Now, do you two have problems with regular skating rinks too, or just the icy ones?"

L shuddered yet again, though he preferred not to voice that he had no skills in skating whatsoever. Far be it from him to admit his faults. He was sure he could always walk around the edge of the rink while Light and Misa skated, provided they didn't go too fast or too far into the middle.

"...I'll be fine," Light said after looking off into the distance with wide eyes for a few seconds. He was fine with anything that didn't involve that blasted Michelle Kwan's (admittedly appealing) outfits.

"All right, let's go!" Misa huffed, stomping away with Light and L in tow.

'_Deep breaths, you'll be fine, skating can't hurt you…' _L mentally coached himself.

'_Damn Michelle Kwan, looking so great in those outfits, damn me for looking even greater in them…' _Light mentally grumbled.

'_Stupid cakes and pies and movies and ice and fighting…' _Misa mentally complained.

_**TBC…**_

And yet another chapter comes to a close! I hope this one was as good as the first! Keep reading, folks, if this one sucked, the next chapters will be better! That's a promise! Also, sorry this one was shorter… Bye-bye!


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